The Ups, Downs and in Betweens

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts. I’ve learned that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse. I’ve learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief. I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do. What have you learned?

Sometimes, we lose ourselves. We forget who we really are and what we really are about inside. We tend to love our children, our friends, our men/women 100% and totally forget about loving ourselves. I know … because I have been right there. I have given 100% of ME to my children, my husband, friends and family. I give all of me and when it comes time for me to give to myself, I don’t. I am depleted of love. But I can’t blame anyone but myself. Well that was how I used to be … But now, I have decided to fall in love with me … again! I have decided to look into my eyes and search my soul. I have decided to give myself pep talks and tell myself how beautiful, smart, and divine I am. But most of all, I have decided to really fall in love with Me … again! I think like any new love this is going to be exciting. I am looking forward to this experience and I even have butterflies in my stomach from time to time when I think about it. Falling in love is an awesome experience. But falling ...

The writing had been on the wall for quite some time now. You just refused to read it. Why? Because as far as you were concerned, you had found the man of your dreams, and there was nothing anyone could say or do to change that. There was however, one slight problem … The feeling wasn’t mutual. If only you would have paid attention to my “Top 5 Signs That He’s Not Interested” … perhaps this could have all been avoided. 1. He never calls first. Do me a favor and check how many times you’ve called him over the past two weeks. Once you’ve written that number down, compare it to the number of times he’s called you during that same period........Big difference? Listen, when you’re the one that calls first … every single time … what he’s actually showing you is that he’s about as interested in you as Naomi Campbell is in attending anger management classes. 2. He never attempts to make any plans with you. Another indicator that he’s not interested in you can be found in how aggressivel...

A broken heart. Many have been afflicted, but few understand a clear cut path to recovery. Such an approach or lack thereof often leads to endless amounts of pain and suffering. It has also been discovered that if left unchecked, a broken heart can actually prove to be more damaging than cigarette smoke, a high cholesterol diet. So ask yourself this…are you absolutely sure you know how to recover from a broken heart? If not, then I’d suggest you pay close attention to my 5 Steps To Healing A Broken Heart. This should prove to be more effective than the time I taught Bob Dole how to shake with his left hand. 1. Remember That You Are Somebody. Many times when suffering an emotional setback, it’s easy to lose sight of your self-worth. Doing so is probably an even bigger mistake than me buying O.J. that pair of gloves for Christmas. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Instead, continue to reinforce all of your positive qualities, and stop blaming yourself for what happened. 2. Don’t Be ...

There are but three certainties in life. Death, taxes, and John McCain’s inability to give a high five. While those three occurrences are virtually money in the bank, what you can’t always rely on is a complete understanding of love and relationships. Here’s the deal; as appealing as love may be, its intricacies are often as confusing as Al Sharpton’s insistence that man perms are cool. A main factor contributing to this confusion is a laundry list of rules instituted by society long ago. But now it’s time to challenge those archaic principles as we examine Five Common Relationship Myths. 1. You’ll know instantly when you’ve found “the one.” Hollywood, it seems, has glamorized the whole “love at first sight” concept. While I can’t find fault in those who do believe in such a lofty ideal, what I do take issue with is those who believe that this is the only true indicator that you’ve found true love. (“I haven’t fallen for him yet, so that must mean he’s not for me.”) Sometimes the b...

Life is all about signs. Signs of impending danger (Warning, Caution, Beware of Dogs); Signs of advancing age (gray hair, sagging breast, arthritis); and signs of impending life change (a late menstrual cycle, a disapproving look from your boss, or rising gas prices.) Within this context, it’s not hard to see how our lives are littered with signs at every turn. The older you get, the easier it becomes to not only recognize, but to also responsibly react to the many signs that we encounter on a daily basis. For some reason though, when it comes to recognizing signs that pertain to matters of the heart … well let’s just say there’s a lot to be desired. Case in point, here’s a classic text message conversation that I’m sure we’ve all been on at least one side of. The message: Hey, what’s up? I just wanted to check up on you. Hit me back when you get a chance. The response: I’m sorry. I got new phone and lost all of my numbers. Who is this? Sound familiar? Now the optimist in you w...

When someone becomes too hard to love you have two choices: you either stop loving them, or you love them a whole lot more.

It has always been said that men are visual creatures, but a woman can lock eyes with a well-put-together man and begin desiring him... It has always been said that men are visual creatures, but a woman can lock eyes with a well-put-together man and begin desiring him, craving him and dusting off a spot in her life for him before he's even said, "Hello" or asked her name. There is nothing as uncomfortable as wearing someone else's shoes, especially when they don't fit or don't match what you're wearing. But so many relish the smile on his face that they know they didn't put there and the way he laughs that is reserved only for her and begin plotting to get him because they want him for themselves. For some, they act like the man doesn't even have a say in the matter. If they discover that someone else is taking an interest in this particular man they make it as clear as they can to them that he’s been reserved without coming right out and saying, ...

Ah...love and marriage. Most of girls want it. To be head over heels in love with Mr. Right is a dream come true. Ah...love and marriage. Most of girls want it. To be head over heels in love with Mr. Right is a dream come true. So why do waste our time with men we know aren’t right for us? Is it just to say you have someone? Because we have LSE (low self-esteem) or is it just to pass the time? Too many times we ignore our sixth sense because we fear being alone or not having a date for the company Christmas party. But why bother checking for the zeros when we know they have nothing to offer? Some zeros come disguised as "the One". They woo us, do us, then disappear without a trace. And the worst kind is the almosthusband, the one who goes along for as long as he can and then when he realizes that marriage is the next step, he bolts. It could be fear, it could be because he’s a jerk, or it could be because you are not the one for. We have to be savvier when it comes to men. Th...