Skip to main content

5 Signs That He Isn’t Interested

The writing had been on the wall for quite some time now. You just refused to read it. Why? Because as far as you were concerned, you had found the man of your dreams, and there was nothing anyone could say or do to change that. There was however, one slight problem … The feeling wasn’t mutual.

If only you would have paid attention to my “Top 5 Signs That He’s Not Interested” … perhaps this could have all been avoided.

1. He never calls first.

Do me a favor and check how many times you’ve called him over the past two weeks. Once you’ve written that number down, compare it to the number of times he’s called you during that same period........Big difference?

Listen, when you’re the one that calls first … every single time … what he’s actually showing you is that he’s about as interested in you as Naomi Campbell is in attending anger management classes.

2. He never attempts to make any plans with you.

Another indicator that he’s not interested in you can be found in how aggressively he tries to make plans with you. Does he immediately come to the table with the “who, what, when, where, and why” of a romantic night out? Or does he talk about seeing you in terms that are about as vague as Al Sharpton’s job description? (After all these years, I still don’t know what he does.)

Side Bar: Late night calls asking you to “come over and watch this movie with me,” don’t exactly equate to him making legitimate plans.

3. He constantly cancels the date at the last minute.

You look beautiful tonight. In fact, you always do on date night. But shortly before it’s time for you to meet, the phone rings. It’s him on the other end, beginning the same conversation you’ve heard many times before …

“Hey I’m sorry, but my job is making me work late again. My boss always seems to find a way to keep us apart.”

Translation: “I really don’t feel like going out with you tonight. Plus, I forgot the game was about to come on, so I had to weigh my options. Let’s see: spending money on you … watching the game … spending money on you … watching the game. I think we both know who won that battle.”

4. He becomes a master magician (now you see me, now you don’t.)

In the beginning, the two of you would speak several times a day … And just when you thought something positive was about to happen, he up and disappeared …

In fact, you were THIS close to giving up on him; then conveniently, he reappeared. Of course, he apologized and gave his word that it would never happen again. But it did, and the cycle continued …

5. He begins to point out your differences.

A rather obvious sign that he’s not interested is when he starts pointing out your differences … no matter how random or how insignificant they may be. Maybe you like to argue and he doesn’t. Perhaps you’re a Democrat and he’s a Republican. Or maybe you like fried fish but he prefers baked … Doritos to his Sun Chips … Colgate to his Crest … Connect Four to his Battleship … Should I go on?

Here’s the bottom line. By highlighting your differences, what he’s really trying to say is this: “We aren’t made for each other.”

Conclusion: So now that you know the truth, what’s next? Will you continue to hold out hope that he will one day change his mind and make you the love of his life? Or will you gracefully walk away, and avoid being labeled as the “crazy chick that just doesn’t get it.”

I pray you choose the latter.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Silent Whisper: How "Being Remembered" Shows the Difference Between Compromise and Settling

We talk a lot about “not settling” in modern dating how we shouldn’t accept the bare minimum, how we deserve effort, consistency, and someone choosing us every day. But somewhere along the way, “not settling” started getting confused with “never compromising,” and those two things are not the same. Compromise is collaboration. Settling is self-betrayal. And nothing captures that difference more clearly than the quiet, intimate act of being remembered. The Effort I Mistook for Compatibility For a long time, I was the one who remembered. I'm the woman who'll clock your favorite snack in passing and pick it up "just because." The one who remembers your big meeting, your bad knee, the story about your childhood bedroom. I remember the song you skip every time, the way you side-eye certain foods, the exact way you take your coffee. That's how I love people—through details. And for a long time, I mistook my own effort for "compatibility." I’ve been in situat...

When Your Person is Also Your Friend

Dating today feels like it’s running on fast-forward. Everything is about instant attraction, hookups, and surface-level vibes. Rarely do people pause long enough to ask: But are we friends? See, when someone is your friend to the core, it changes everything. Friends don’t go out of their way to hurt each other. Friends know how to tell the truth...even when it’s uncomfortable  because the bond matters more than ego. That’s what’s missing in a lot of relationships right now: the foundation. If I’m your friend, I should be able to say what’s on my heart without fear that you’ll twist it, dismiss it, or run away. And let’s be real, the group chat knows more than the man in the bed. I laughed when someone told me “girls share everything in the group chat” because listen, if any of my group chats ever got leaked? Wheeeew, pray for us all. 🤭 But here’s the kicker: most of us don’t actually share it all with the man we’re sleeping with. Some women do, sure, but most don’t. We’ll c...

Put Me In

I’m not good at this game called Love. Someone once told me I’m not supposed to be good at it— I’m just supposed to take care of it when I find it or if it finds me. But every time I tried to take care of it, It didn’t take care of me. I’m not good at this game called Love. I’ve trained for years. Had a few different teammates. Revised my playbook. Yet, somehow, I’m still no good at this game. And the closest I came to winning, I realized I was running plays with a teammate Who was passing the ball to every other team in the league. 😉 I left my last team. I walked away, filed the paperwork, Hung up my old jersey for good. Sometimes leaving is the hardest move you’ll ever make. And even though my heart is healing, It still feels like I’m stuck on the sideline. But the game goes on. I built this wall around me, Told myself it was for protection, But after my divorce, I was always looking for the quickest exit— Just waiting for the moment to leave. My therapist recently chuckled and said...