Skip to main content

Panel of Love

Had the pleasure on Sunday to be a part of a group to discuss “LOVE”. When my friend Billy asked me to come on out, I was more than happy to attend…because it’s a group discussing LOVE. I couldn’t miss this for anything. One thing I enjoy is hearing folks talk about their journey in Love or finding Love.

I love that this group it was a mixture of like minded, Successful African Americans all Looking, Seeking or Maintaining Love…but not just any kind of Love But Black LOVE…now we all know that BLACK LOVE seems so unattainable…it's like a Myth, Unicorn or Needle in the Hay-Stack.

A few key points I got from the group was that you can find Love again, as learned from a couple who both were divorced and found Love with each other and raising their blended family and co-parenting. They spoke on the ups and downs and in between of doing this…and it all boils down to respecting everyone involved. 

You had a couple who met online (the new way of meeting your partner) and how that it's no different than dating someone you meet off the street or bar, you don’t know them just like you won't know the person behind the screen before you swipe left or is it right…

One Single/Still dating gentlemen dropped the gem that moving forward he will make sure that his “Lady” is friends with his friends. He broke it down by saying that before he would keep the two separate, never allowing his “Lady” to be a part of his social world with his “Homies”…he now says, that by doing so he was only doing this keep his life separate, and separation in any form is a way of NOT committing to the relationship…because at the end of the day, you are ONE! 

We also had a few couples that have been married for Years and one thing I took from their relationships is that they supported and uplifted each other on every and any area.

Here are a few Gems I got:
  • Women need to be careful when they speak to their men, some words hurt more than being shot or stabbed.
  • Treat your Lady like she is the most precious Gift!
  • Never STOP DATING quality time Together is a must...even if it's cuddling up watching a show.
  • Date Like a White Girl, which means date several people at once until one peeks your interest. Dating does not equate having sex!
  • Establish who you are from the door. If you are not dating for Marriage, let it be known...If You don't want Kids, Let it be Known.
  • Men need to let their woman Lead, give her the Energy, Support to build because when she shines, you both will.
  • If he's nobody else’s King, he's your King…Always uplift him as such. Make him feel that he is the greatest thing to you as you are to him.
  • Make sure your souls' grove, do not send the representative…let them know what it is.
  • Make sure you know about each others finances, debt and financial issues can ruin a relationship…The money will NOT buy Happiness or Love.
  • Support and Love your mate, “I’m a Movement by Myself but I’m a Force When We Are Together.”
  • Men have to understand what being a man is, shouting out “I’m A MAN” is 300 years old, you are not out hunting and killing bears.
  • Togetherness is Key.
  • Not a Burden Mate but A HelpMate, bring PEACE and Not PROBLEMS.
  • Love Yourself, Knowing Yourself is Key…Having a Partner is Amazing, but Self Love is KEY!
  • Learn your Love Language and Your Partners Love Language...I myself am a HUGE advocate on this if you haven't done so yet... here is the link 5 Love Languages
Just because he wants to get married and you both spoke about it, He Might Not Want to Marry You!! That topic really set the room off, because it’s a hard realization to come to... by Both Individuals in the relationship. It was stated several times that “Men Know What They Want”…We had couples who got married after 5-7 years of dating and others after a 1.5. The thing is that as long as both of you are on the same page, same goals, same spirit, like mind and wanting the same ending (with each other) not just generally wanting to be married or in a relationship…but wanting it together, Nothing can stop that Love because you both are ONE!

 Comment ways that you are doing to find Love or deal breakers! 
If you are Happy IN Love Your Tips for others to find the Love you Have.

 Please Listen to gonzoafterdark  they have topics on everything we are dealing with currently.
Labels:

Comments

  1. BuggsyFebruary 21, 2017 at 9:26 AM

    You soaked everything up like a sponge geesh ��

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownFebruary 21, 2017 at 9:30 AM

    Great blog. I'm not sold on having my woman be friends with my friends but other than that, honesty makes everything go well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TraeFebruary 21, 2017 at 11:42 AM

      They should at least know of each other, not saying they should be going out and sending each other funny Memes all day!

      Delete
  3. Clara EllisonFebruary 21, 2017 at 2:34 PM

    I think "knowing" your spouses friends are important. As the saying goes, you are the company that you keep. So if you know that your spouses friends are good people, it will solidify your relationship with your spouse even MORE.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Clara EllisonFebruary 21, 2017 at 2:38 PM

    Making sure that you guys are on the SAME PAGE is key. I do believe that in the African American culture, we are taught that men are to be silent about there emotions. Men are not suppose to feel - and God forbid they do- they must keep it bottled inside.

    Sooooooo, how are you suppose to know if your own the same page with yor spouse if you don't communicate with them. If words (PG13) words are not exchanged. How are you suppose to know if you don't take the time to have these conversations, solidifying the page that everyone is on.

    As with life, communication is the best remedy for a healthy relationship.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Silent Whisper: How "Being Remembered" Shows the Difference Between Compromise and Settling

We talk a lot about “not settling” in modern dating how we shouldn’t accept the bare minimum, how we deserve effort, consistency, and someone choosing us every day. But somewhere along the way, “not settling” started getting confused with “never compromising,” and those two things are not the same. Compromise is collaboration. Settling is self-betrayal. And nothing captures that difference more clearly than the quiet, intimate act of being remembered. The Effort I Mistook for Compatibility For a long time, I was the one who remembered. I'm the woman who'll clock your favorite snack in passing and pick it up "just because." The one who remembers your big meeting, your bad knee, the story about your childhood bedroom. I remember the song you skip every time, the way you side-eye certain foods, the exact way you take your coffee. That's how I love people—through details. And for a long time, I mistook my own effort for "compatibility." I’ve been in situat...
Post a Comment
Read more

When Your Person is Also Your Friend

Dating today feels like it’s running on fast-forward. Everything is about instant attraction, hookups, and surface-level vibes. Rarely do people pause long enough to ask: But are we friends? See, when someone is your friend to the core, it changes everything. Friends don’t go out of their way to hurt each other. Friends know how to tell the truth...even when it’s uncomfortable  because the bond matters more than ego. That’s what’s missing in a lot of relationships right now: the foundation. If I’m your friend, I should be able to say what’s on my heart without fear that you’ll twist it, dismiss it, or run away. And let’s be real, the group chat knows more than the man in the bed. I laughed when someone told me “girls share everything in the group chat” because listen, if any of my group chats ever got leaked? Wheeeew, pray for us all. 🤭 But here’s the kicker: most of us don’t actually share it all with the man we’re sleeping with. Some women do, sure, but most don’t. We’ll c...
Post a Comment
Read more

Put Me In

I’m not good at this game called Love. Someone once told me I’m not supposed to be good at it— I’m just supposed to take care of it when I find it or if it finds me. But every time I tried to take care of it, It didn’t take care of me. I’m not good at this game called Love. I’ve trained for years. Had a few different teammates. Revised my playbook. Yet, somehow, I’m still no good at this game. And the closest I came to winning, I realized I was running plays with a teammate Who was passing the ball to every other team in the league. 😉 I left my last team. I walked away, filed the paperwork, Hung up my old jersey for good. Sometimes leaving is the hardest move you’ll ever make. And even though my heart is healing, It still feels like I’m stuck on the sideline. But the game goes on. I built this wall around me, Told myself it was for protection, But after my divorce, I was always looking for the quickest exit— Just waiting for the moment to leave. My therapist recently chuckled and said...
15 comments
Read more