val·i·da·tion

val·i·da·tion

ˌvaləˈdāSH(ə)n/

noun

1.      the action of checking or proving the validity or accuracy of something.

"the technique requires validation in controlled trials"

o    the action of making or declaring something legally or officially acceptable.

"new courses, subject to validation, include an MSc in Urban Forestry"

o    recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.

"they have exaggerated needs for acceptance and validation"

Above is Websters/Dictionary.com definition(s) of Validation... Very interesting, No?? Each one of these had something that stood out the most to me, and I am sure something will stand out differently for you.

The 3 that stood out to me are:

• Accuracy
• Officially  
• Feelings

I ask a few people what does Validation mean to them, not using the dictionary's standards and here is what I got:

• When my position is solidified and proven with actions
• Approval or Substantiate
• To make something credible 
• The need/want to be recognized and appreciated by another..." even though I know I'm awesome, I need you to acknowledge it as well"
• It means you made an imprint and earned your respect from all
• Proof, Acceptance, and Action
• Accepting the person as whole, not judging but accepting their flaws and knowing that is them
• Assurance

Validation sounds easy right, really simple...it's not, its a very tricky part of any relationship and can really make or break it... Remember I have said it and will say it a billion more times as I blog, EVERYBODY LOVES DIFFERENTLY...meaning they give it and receive it differently. One point was brought up was can you over validate what someone means to you? Is that possible? Simply put yes only and if only when you are constantly trying to prove how much you LOVE the person! Now don't get me wrong you should always show and do things so people feel the LOVE! But if you are constantly trying to Validate your feelings, you have gone above and beyond and they still can't get that you do indeed Love them...Either you need to learn that persons Love Language and if you have and they don't see that you Love them, No amount of things you do will Validate your Love to them.

Validation in your relationship... It means that when your partner tells you about their day or shares their feelings, you stay with them in the moment, honoring their experience as if it were your own. These means putting away your cell phone and limit all distractions (this can be hard but over time it can be done smoothly).  You join their world and see things from their point of view. It’s a way of showing you understand and accept their thoughts and feelings just as they are (raw and in your face). When a person turns to you to let you know their innermost feelings, and you intern brush them off is very hurtful and damaging to your relationship…place yourself in that person's shoes? You are together right? Then why not be there for them the same way you would them to be for you? If you can’t speak at the moment, let them know…delaying the conversation or ignoring them will only have them feeling Invalidated…feeling dismissed. In today’s world validation of your relationship is even more tricky with this whole social media thingy…everybody loves the likes and all that great stuff! But when you are in a relationship, is there a hidden communication language for couples?

I know couples who don’t even follow each other on social media networks, I know couples that sit right next to each other and communicate only through social media. Then we have the couples that post EVERYTHING and we have those who share partially...Here is my thing or take on dating while on social media…Do What Makes You HAPPY, but with consideration for your partners' feelings! (see that part right there can be tricky(dam this dating/relationship thingy is tricky huh, it really is NOT if you are in it for the right reasons) because if you are dating someone whose super private but you are the POSTER of POSTERS you have to come to some balance on this)

 Private + Poster = YALL (talk that out before a post turns into a “discussion”).

Nobody wants to feel as if they need to monitor your partners' social media account and if you do that is that not kind of like checking their cellphones or whatever to see if they are cheating?

At the end of the day and I seem to keep typing this but once your partner feels comfort, safe and loved by you…they Feel Validated, that your relationship is Accurate and Official (see how I worked the 3 into my post)

Validation is also a way of showing support for your partner and the things they like...you don't watch or understand football but he loves it, I mean LOVES it...just know that Mondays around football season you really wont be talking much but that's OK because you guys did that communication thingy that I recently was reminded about by my Leprechaun friend. Or she Loves to dance but you have two-left foot...you take her dancing and try to understand what a samba or dutty wine is. So many ways you can validate your partner and it all boils down to you and your actions!

Another thing with Validation of Relationship is Living It, Spending Time together to do things and understand why your partner really can't stand Ketchup in the Fridge!