Skip to main content

Weathering The Storm


I was speaking to my cousin about relationships today...because let's face it today's relationships are all kinds of Fucked-Up, Fuckery and BULL-CRUD. Everyone is looking for something to make them feel good, great even. They are watching timetables to see what the next steps should be...they are comparing their relationship to the ones on TV/Social Media or their friends. But they are not living in the relationship itself. If you are busy watching the things around you besides your partner how can you develop as a unit?

Being in a long lasting relationship means going through some $hit! I also recently asked awesome dude what were his thoughts on what makes a relationship Weather The Storm...I wanted a guys point of view because heck I am a female and I wanted the perspective of a guy that I can trust and that would give me the truth with no chaser and here are few things he said would make him with stand a long term relationship aka weathering the storm!

He had a few more but I choose these (I broke them down per what he said and add my little two senses).
  • She has to be down for him...ride or die is what the term is usually is...meaning to have his back but not be stupid about it! Able to have him lead but guide him (remember He's the HEAD and shes the NECK). You have to be his cheerleader, once he starts something he should know that you will have his back whether he succeeds or fails...that you were there with him. And sometimes you as the woman in his life, you see something he doesn't see as yet in himself, but you are able to help him manifest it.
  • Be his PEACE-Meaning that he should be able to come to you and not be judged by his actions, thoughts, feelings. He should be able to let his guard down around you and be him, able to crack those super corny jokes or dance moves, that would have you shake your head and go "I can't" but at the same time, you are cheesing inside because you get to see aside nobody does.
  • Not Jealous-I think everyone is a bit jealous and have some jealous at some point in a relationship. Especially if your partner is HOT/Sexy but there is a thin line between healthy jealous and board line psychotic. Me personally it takes a ton to get me jealous and some people feel if you don't act out that means you don't care (that logic flies over my head). But don't test the waters and see how jealous your partner is, you might just get crazy instead!
  • Don't have others opinion matter to your relationship or how you view your relationship. This is a gem right here. Because people will judge the crap out of your relationship but only cause you let them in! They will not know the issues you guys are having if you don't speak on them to them.If you have something bothering or something your partner does you should voice it to them and Never Ever let anyone disrespect your partner, you have to check folks on that because a joke to them or even you... can hurt your partners' feelings. People start being disrespectful before you know it those thoughts manifests and causes rifts! (remember ride or die up top)
Weathering the storm of a relationship takes two people to stand under that umbrella together...this again is something you can't shake. Bad, Hard, Difficult times will come but if you two come together the world can not effect you. Intimacy (not just SEX) is what makes a good relationship last! Communication is KEY. Nothing beats communication, keeping your partner in the loop about your thoughts and feelings are. It helps to stop your partner having to guess your motivation or thoughts.  Assumption are Bish! and often times causes issues and fights because one partner doesn't know what the other is thinking. Remember that communication is a two-way street....A very important skill is listening and understanding the thoughts of your partner. Usually, good communication is the key to solving problems in any relationship.

Relationships have one law...Never ever make your partner feel alone, especially when you’re there. Isn’t it the worst feeling in the world to be in a room with someone but feel totally alone? Like you don’t matter? Or they don’t get you? Or worse, they’re your adversary and not your friend?

Also realizing that there is no quick fix in a relationship is something you have to keep in mind, you have truly worked hard at it and give it your 1000%, day in and day out. My pastor also gave a gem that sometimes you might be the one giving a 1000% and your partner can't give it at the moment or moments (scare right) times like that is what really will show if you both can Weather The Storm! Because the times that your forever looks like never is what will tell what you're going to do to pull through, will you hold the umbrella together or seek shelter elsewhere?

Success in your relationship is weathering those bad times together, you can look back and see how far you came together! The key word is together!

 How do you think or feel you can weather the storm together?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Silent Whisper: How "Being Remembered" Shows the Difference Between Compromise and Settling

We talk a lot about “not settling” in modern dating how we shouldn’t accept the bare minimum, how we deserve effort, consistency, and someone choosing us every day. But somewhere along the way, “not settling” started getting confused with “never compromising,” and those two things are not the same. Compromise is collaboration. Settling is self-betrayal. And nothing captures that difference more clearly than the quiet, intimate act of being remembered. The Effort I Mistook for Compatibility For a long time, I was the one who remembered. I'm the woman who'll clock your favorite snack in passing and pick it up "just because." The one who remembers your big meeting, your bad knee, the story about your childhood bedroom. I remember the song you skip every time, the way you side-eye certain foods, the exact way you take your coffee. That's how I love people—through details. And for a long time, I mistook my own effort for "compatibility." I’ve been in situat...
Post a Comment
Read more

When Your Person is Also Your Friend

Dating today feels like it’s running on fast-forward. Everything is about instant attraction, hookups, and surface-level vibes. Rarely do people pause long enough to ask: But are we friends? See, when someone is your friend to the core, it changes everything. Friends don’t go out of their way to hurt each other. Friends know how to tell the truth...even when it’s uncomfortable  because the bond matters more than ego. That’s what’s missing in a lot of relationships right now: the foundation. If I’m your friend, I should be able to say what’s on my heart without fear that you’ll twist it, dismiss it, or run away. And let’s be real, the group chat knows more than the man in the bed. I laughed when someone told me “girls share everything in the group chat” because listen, if any of my group chats ever got leaked? Wheeeew, pray for us all. 🤭 But here’s the kicker: most of us don’t actually share it all with the man we’re sleeping with. Some women do, sure, but most don’t. We’ll c...
Post a Comment
Read more

Put Me In

I’m not good at this game called Love. Someone once told me I’m not supposed to be good at it— I’m just supposed to take care of it when I find it or if it finds me. But every time I tried to take care of it, It didn’t take care of me. I’m not good at this game called Love. I’ve trained for years. Had a few different teammates. Revised my playbook. Yet, somehow, I’m still no good at this game. And the closest I came to winning, I realized I was running plays with a teammate Who was passing the ball to every other team in the league. 😉 I left my last team. I walked away, filed the paperwork, Hung up my old jersey for good. Sometimes leaving is the hardest move you’ll ever make. And even though my heart is healing, It still feels like I’m stuck on the sideline. But the game goes on. I built this wall around me, Told myself it was for protection, But after my divorce, I was always looking for the quickest exit— Just waiting for the moment to leave. My therapist recently chuckled and said...
15 comments
Read more