Black and Happily Married...

I believe it exists.

And I am so sick of the media images that make it believe that it can't happen.

It happened for me.....and several other people I know......I'm not saying its easy, but its one of the best decisions I made...... Do not let what happened to others scare you into thinking that you can't have a beautiful relationship with a loving relationship. Don't let the statistics scare you or the lack of decent Black men worry you... Okay....that does kinda worry me...... But seriously, you can be Black and happily married.....

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The Silent Whisper: How "Being Remembered" Shows the Difference Between Compromise and Settling

We talk a lot about “not settling” in modern dating how we shouldn’t accept the bare minimum, how we deserve effort, consistency, and someone choosing us every day. But somewhere along the way, “not settling” started getting confused with “never compromising,” and those two things are not the same. Compromise is collaboration. Settling is self-betrayal. And nothing captures that difference more clearly than the quiet, intimate act of being remembered. The Effort I Mistook for Compatibility For a long time, I was the one who remembered. I'm the woman who'll clock your favorite snack in passing and pick it up "just because." The one who remembers your big meeting, your bad knee, the story about your childhood bedroom. I remember the song you skip every time, the way you side-eye certain foods, the exact way you take your coffee. That's how I love people—through details. And for a long time, I mistook my own effort for "compatibility." I’ve been in situat...

When Your Person is Also Your Friend

Dating today feels like it’s running on fast-forward. Everything is about instant attraction, hookups, and surface-level vibes. Rarely do people pause long enough to ask: But are we friends? See, when someone is your friend to the core, it changes everything. Friends don’t go out of their way to hurt each other. Friends know how to tell the truth...even when it’s uncomfortable because the bond matters more than ego. That’s what’s missing in a lot of relationships right now: the foundation. If I’m your friend, I should be able to say what’s on my heart without fear that you’ll twist it, dismiss it, or run away. And let’s be real, the group chat knows more than the man in the bed. I laughed when someone told me “girls share everything in the group chat” because listen, if any of my group chats ever got leaked? Wheeeew, pray for us all. 🤭 But here’s the kicker: most of us don’t actually share it all with the man we’re sleeping with. Some women do, sure, but most don’t. We’ll c...

Put Me In

I’m not good at this game called Love. Someone once told me I’m not supposed to be good at it— I’m just supposed to take care of it when I find it or if it finds me. But every time I tried to take care of it, It didn’t take care of me. I’m not good at this game called Love. I’ve trained for years. Had a few different teammates. Revised my playbook. Yet, somehow, I’m still no good at this game. And the closest I came to winning, I realized I was running plays with a teammate Who was passing the ball to every other team in the league. 😉 I left my last team. I walked away, filed the paperwork, Hung up my old jersey for good. Sometimes leaving is the hardest move you’ll ever make. And even though my heart is healing, It still feels like I’m stuck on the sideline. But the game goes on. I built this wall around me, Told myself it was for protection, But after my divorce, I was always looking for the quickest exit— Just waiting for the moment to leave. My therapist recently chuckled and said...

The Ups, Downs and in Betweens

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