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Can Cheaters Be Forgiven? (Trust & Love)

When it comes to matters of the heart I have one golden rule: If I can’t trust you, then I can’t love you. It’s just that simple, because in my book, the two go hand in hand. Think about it for a moment: If your mind can never be at ease because you think your partner is doing dirt; then what kind of loving relationship is that? You’re spending more time tearing the relationship down by snoopin’ and worrying than actually building it up to something worth wild.

People always talk about the feeling and emotions of love, which is fine, but what solidifies it all is trust. You have to really love and trust someone to be willing to let them raise your kids, have access to your personal accounts and share your bed with them at night. Those aren’t things you let just anyone do—or maybe that’s just me. A husband should be able to trust his wife with his life and vice versa. Anything less is unacceptable for my marriage and lifelong love.

Now what happens when the bond of trust is broken? The feelings of love may still remain, but let’s face it, things are changed forever. You can never look at that person the same. He or she lied, cheated and misled you, so you’d be a fool to believe anything they ever said again. It’s like that old adage: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Sure you may want to work things out and actually forgive, but will you really ever forget? That doubt will eat away at your relationship and pop up in every argument.

Now everyone is entitled to make mistakes and you should make room for forgiveness in your heart, but once there’s a precedent for cheating and lying, it’s virtually impossible to fully regain trust. See, once trust has been sullied the once-pure love that existed between a couple becomes tainted as well. I for one give everyone the benefit of the doubt initially, but once you cross me you’re placed in my “do not trust” box. That’s the only way I can protect my heart from further damage. At the end of the day, no one can do anything to you that you don’t allow them to do and I refuse to love someone I can no longer trust.

How do you guys feel about the correlation between love and trust? Can one exist without the other? Can you ever truly fall in love with a person you can’t trust? Have you ever been cheated on or lied to but somehow found a way to forgive that person in the name of love? Did the relationship survive or was it doomed from the start? How important is trust to your relationships?

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